||[Jan. 2nd, 2008|09:37 pm]
So today was a great day...|
and by great I obviously mean horrible
Not only did I sleep for only 4 hours after much needed rest due to a late drunken New Years night before, but I was awake at 6am because of him. Just knowing in the back of my mind that I would see his face today made me dream of him and wake up hurting, unable to fall back asleep. So I proceed to lay in bed and waste a few hours before St. Joe's volleyball, where I rolled my good ankle - badly. It is now pretty damn bruised. Then another occurance, or lack there of. "Hey, its good to see you too. How was your New Years? Enjoying the break? What are your plans for the last few days off? ...maybe a simple 'hi'" Nope. That was probably one of the more crushing blows of the day. Something I won't forget but clearly, that doesn't matter. Continue on to not get my work schedule, not be able to get my school schedule and spend the afternoon cleaning when I would really rather have just crawled back into bed. Well I got in the mood and that was alright. Didn't get everything done so thats something that will continue tomorrow but still, it kept my mind busy and that was good. Go to school to buy my books. No schedule = no course codes = no idea what books I need. Find them out, get to the bookstore, closed 6 minutes ago. Go to practice. Erin is there, whispering and pointing like the immature bitch that she is. And Adam is there too. Smiling away trying to grab my attention, trying to talk. But just being there, finally seeing him, everyone around - knowing what happened - that was a blow I wasn't expecting. I thought I was over it but clearly am still having issues. I don't know how to resolve them. Whatever. Go clean a bit more, miss my best friend by 4 minutes and come home to parents who just won't get off my back. I don't even feel like going out to this stupid nursing get together. I hate nursing. And I hate Erin and I hate Adam and I hate today - it sucks and it needs to end. Its probably been one of the harder instances to refrain from falling into old habits. But I am still trying away, weakly, I might add...